I Want To Be Important pt 1

Hi guys, today's entry inspired by most of my student's popular question to me. "Miss how am I going to be important to others ?". To be honest I can't answer the question because of I'm not a counselor that can advice others and I don't want to be selfish on that. So what I'm trying to do today instead of I tell you guys what to do, I will tell you guys  bout me and my buddy struggle with similar issue.

Let's start everybody, me and my buddy both have dreams, ambition and things we really want to do and achieve, but life is not easy to have all that and it is ok because of it, I will try hard to grab all that and  will appreciate it more. So I will start my part first and second my buddy's part (hope she will write hers, as always I didn't discuss this with her).

My struggle in life mostly because of I want to be accepted by others. I, myself do have  complex in my life where everybody tend to look me as I am nothing and I am not good enough (don't worry guys I will never blame them because part of it is my fault). Since I was kid I always try hard to prove to others that I'm smart, good, beautiful and dependable but none of that is mine so what left for me was "try hard". I don't have many friends, I'm a attention seeker so I grown up with in my mind.

When I was in primary school I was an average students I'm not stupid and my rank always between number 1- 3. I was vice president of prefect in my school and at that time I only have one best friend I love her and I need her to be just my best friend but others also want her to be their best friend too, therefore I lost her, and again I need to start my journey again. Though my rank was 1-3 and she was not but others recognize her more than me, so I always feel like that I'm just  "plus one" version meaning if you want to be my best friend's friend you guys need to be my friend too (pathetic rite?), after 3 years being her best friend finally she chose not to be my best friend anymore and it was when I was in secondary.


My secondary life still the same where I tried hard to prove to others, but this time I want to walk alone I don't want any friend anymore, none of in my school know me as a person they only know me as debaters in my school . Succeeded to be alone but failed to be a good student and as additional to that, something happened in my life and my family at that time I was devastated and lost. I tried hard to move on and start my new life in college.

When I was in diploma, I started my new character I will not try hard anymore but living in my life happily, every problem I faced I will not blame others or run from it I will face it bravely even though I knew some of the problem will kill me, but still I will face it. During this time I had a lot of friend and I still be their friend until now. The most happiest moment in my life.

So when I started my degree and also my master I knew what I want and I go for it. Till now I face the challenge and everybody still look me as if I'm stupid and I'm nothing, but I don't bother with that anymore I don't care what others think about me. Ya that is how I think now, I still can laugh to myself when I fell in front of many audience cause I know it will become my sweet memory and I need to appreciate it.

So guys what I'm trying to say don't live in others world but live in your world. Don't let others say NO to you, cause they know nothing bout you, I hate when others judge us,( yes I did that before but I stopped when I was in diploma because of I feel like I don't have right to judge other ,I don't know their destiny and their fate, anything can be happen, maybe that person not good enough now but maybe in the end that person one of the best. Keep walking, keep trying and keep dreaming don't stop, even you hit the ground hard still keep moving on, I know maybe you will notice there are too many people passed by you, it is ok they have their own story plot you have your own don't panic. To

p/s: to all my students who read this don't think too much to be important just go for whatever you want to achieve don't think bout others ( unless you are the one give them a problem) so ok you guys.. byeee

p/s again : before I end my entry I will share with you guys some of the song that inspired me to be strong in my life.



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